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Victims: the Rape Culture

I haven't thought about it in years. As a matter of fact, i had almost forgotten about it until now. Back in 200 level, i was on my way home from school; called up a bike and after negotiating the price, i got on. Not quite 5 minutes into the journey, he started with compliments that turned into him pleading for sex. At my request, he stopped but as soon as i alighted, he was on it again. I hissed and walked away. I remember feeling both strange and furious afterwards. I didn't really know it then but that was some form of sexual harassment.
   As i listened to Dr.Obasuyi argue out this topic, i reasoned that i may have hugged him or at least seconded his statement; if i was ballsy enough. I'm not.
   What is this rape culture?
◇ The Audacity:
I can't be the only one who thinks men have been given too much power to do as they please.
- The man that beats his wife into sexual submission
- The boyfriend that feigns anger until she caves and gives him what he wants.
- The boy that forcefully takes because he deserves it; "why did she not complain when i was spending my money on her?", their defence.
  How many men actually look at their wives/girlfriends and ask, "do you want to?"; "does it hurt?". No! It's gonna be fine as long as they cum.

◇ The Shame:
  A few years before now, no woman ever dared to say she was raped. It was too much shame. Your parents would beat you into muteness. Nobody wants to date or marry someone who has been raped.
  That has changed a little, i mean, people are more likely to come out and talk about their sexual assault. But believe me, even among the ones that give you likes on social media, there are those who will still look down on the person.
  Some are not so subtle.
I saw a post on Facebook recently that criticized the whole Bisola-Coza issue. There was one thought, what if she was your sister? What if she were your wife? Your daughter? Would you still be talking utter bullshit?

◇ The Reaction:
When i was still very little, my dad used to say a story about a rape case that went to court. At some point, the girl was asked to go put on the clothes she wore that fateful day; when she returned, the jury decided that her clothes were the problem.
   A girl is raped and the first thing people want to know is "what was she wearing?", "where was she?". If she was wearing 'provocative' clothes or at a boy's house or a bar; then she deserved the rape. What about the pregnant women, the children, the burka-wearing women that get raped? What did they find provocative in these people?
   No matter what happens, the first reaction of people to a case of rape, is a propensity to blame it on the victim.
They are rape victims. It does not matter if she is walking around naked or getting drunk at a bar; she did not ask for your penis in her vagina.
  And for you whose job is to judge, remember, rape doesn't choose its victims. It can be anybody. Your mother, sister, daughter, wife. So before you say anything, think about what if twas someone you knew and loved.
   From the ones that whistle at a girl as she walks by, to the ones that forcefully grab at her and those that say or drop lewd comments; this rape culture is not going away until our males learn to think less with their penises and more with their brains.

By Sharon

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